What is he hugs everyone but me?
It's hurtful and confusing when you feel like someone is intentionally excluding you, especially when it comes to physical affection like hugs. Here's a breakdown of potential reasons and how to address the situation:
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Perception vs. Reality: It's important to first consider if your perception is accurate. Are you absolutely sure they're hugging everyone else and consistently excluding you? Sometimes our feelings can distort reality. Observe closely over a period of time. Maybe you're just missing some hugs or misinterpreting interactions. If you confirm that it is happening you can move on the next step.
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Possible Reasons:
- Misunderstanding/Awkwardness: They might feel awkward hugging you specifically. This could stem from a variety of factors, like them misinterpreting your body language or worrying about crossing a boundary. Maybe they are just not sure if you like hugs from them.
- Underlying Conflict: Is there any unspoken tension or conflict between you two? Even minor disagreements can create distance.
- Unintentional Exclusion: They may not even realize they're doing it! Sometimes people get caught up in routines or social dynamics and simply don't think about including everyone.
- Personal Feelings: It's possible they have unresolved feelings toward you that they're not consciously aware of or willing to address. This isn't necessarily negative; it could be anything from feeling intimidated by you to harboring a hidden crush.
- Jealousy: May there be jealousy between each other. Jealousy can trigger feelings of exclusion and make people react differently.
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How to Address It:
- Self-Reflection: Before confronting them, consider your own role. Have you given off any signals that might discourage physical affection? Are you generally receptive to physical%20affection?
- Open Communication: The best approach is often direct, but gentle, communication. Choose a private, relaxed setting. You could say something like, "I've noticed you hug a lot of people, and I've realized I haven't gotten a hug. Is there a reason for that? I just wanted to understand."
- "I Feel" Statements: Frame your concerns using "I feel" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, "I feel left out when I see you hugging everyone else but me."
- Respect Their Boundaries: Be prepared to accept their explanation, even if it's not what you want to hear. Everyone has the right to choose who they hug.
- Focus on the Relationship: If you value the relationship, emphasize that and express your desire to improve it.
- Consider a Subtle Approach: If you're uncomfortable with a direct confrontation, you could try initiating a hug yourself in a casual setting. This might break the ice.
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When to Let It Go: If you've tried to address the situation and it doesn't improve, or if their explanation is hurtful or dismissive, it might be best to accept that this person isn't going to be physically affectionate with you. Focus on building relationships with people who are comfortable showing affection in ways that feel good to you. Consider if their actions are a reflection of something deeper that needs addressing, or if it's simply a compatibility issue.